April Fools! How DIY Wills and Trusts Offer a False Sense of Security … and May Leave Your Family With an Expensive Mess

If you’ve been traveling around the sun for a while, you’ve no doubt heard of a Will, a document that says what happens to your money and belongings after you die. You may even have a Will, or know you should get one. And maybe you’ve heard of a Trust and wondered what it is and how it works. You may have even done research on Google about how to do your own Will or Trust.

In fact, it’s hard to poke around the internet and not find do-it-yourself (“DIY”) Wills and Trusts services. Legal Zoom, TrustandWill.com, and even media personalities Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman offer cheap DIY documents. Heck, you can even create your own Will or Trust for free by downloading a few forms. What these websites won’t do, however, is explain the potential consequences that can happen if you use one of their services.

 

 

Legal Documents Have Legal Consequences

 

 

The truth is that Trusts and Wills, and other documents that all adults should have in place, like a health care directive and power of attorney, are legal documents with legal consequences. They contain lots of legal language. Even if you think you understand the words, you likely don’t fully understand the nuances in the terminology. There’s a reason lawyers have to complete college, graduate from law school, then pass a bar exam before they can practice. It takes time and effort to learn the law, the legal terminology, the application of the law, and the potential consequences if something goes wrong.

Even then, many lawyers who don’t specialize in estate planning, or Wills and Trusts, and who don’t have training as a Personal Family Lawyer®, as we do, put in place legal documents that fail when you become incapacitated or die, for various reasons. And, yet, you may be getting sold on the idea that you can draft legal documents on your own, using an online website. The promise is you can save money, and completely protect yourself and your loved ones from expensive legal consequences of not having planning in place. Since it’s early April when this article is being published, we call “April Fools” on these services.

 

 

A Real Life Cautionary Tale

 

Let’s keep you from being fooled by illustrating what can happen when you draft legal documents on your own without understanding the consequences. What follows is a true story:

A woman passed away and her husband came into his lawyer’s office to get legal advice on what to do next. The woman we’ll call her “Jane”) received an inheritance from her first husband (let’s call him “John”). She was also close to her adult children and her grandchildren, and wanted to make sure they received what was left of her inheritance from their father. And while she intended to leave her second husband some money, she made it very clear to her family that she wanted to provide for her children and grandchildren.

Jane was frugal. She didn’t want to spend money on an attorney. So she did some research on Google about Wills and Trusts, downloaded some forms, and wrote out her own documents. She learned from Google that a Trust can keep her family from going through a court process called probate, which would save them money and leave more for them to inherit. So she drafted her own Trust thinking that she’d achieve her goals and save money at the same time.

You may already see where this is going…

When John’s lawyer read Jane’s DIY Trust, they realized that what Jane actually did was leave her entire inheritance to her second husband. Jane legally disinherited her children and grandchildren. Jane’s DIY Trust was also subject to laws of a different U.S. State than the one she lived in, meaning that any legal process related to the Trust would be more complicated than it needed to be. Surely this was not the result Jane wanted.

Jane not only disinherited her children, but she failed to transfer her house to the Trust, despite drafting and filing a deed on her own, and she left assets out of her Trust altogether. So while she thought she was doing the right thing, what she really did was leave her loved ones with a giant, expensive mess.

Not surprisingly, the family ended up in court and years later, the matter still isn’t resolved.

 

You Don’t Have to Make the Same Mistakes

Jane must have believed what she heard from well-meaning folks like Dave and Suze about doing a Will and Trust on her own. She probably thought she understood the legal documents she drafted and signed. She most definitely thought she was making things easy for her family and that she was giving her children money from their father. But Jane was fooled.

Don’t be Jane. If Jane had worked with a Personal Family Lawyer®, she would have created a plan that would accomplish her goals, and keep her family out of court and out of conflict. She would have saved her family years of heartache and pain, not to mention the expense. Jane’s story teaches us that it’s absolutely worth it to work with a lawyer whenever you’re dealing with a legal document – including a Will or Trust. Don’t “Trust” those (see what we did there?) who say you can do it cheaply or do it yourself. Don’t be Jane.

What to Do Instead

You owe it to your loved ones to take the time and put in the investment to do your estate planning right, and keep it up over time. In fact, it’s the last and greatest gift you can leave them. Having your affairs buttoned up so they don’t have a mess on their hands and are allowed to process their grief in peace is your final act of love.

If you want to leave your family the gift of your love, we can help. At our firm, we don’t merely dispense legal counsel or draft documents; we safeguard your family. We look at your specific family dynamics and your goals and then work with you to create a plan that ensures you and your loved ones avoid the stress, conflict, and chaos that comes from DIY documents.

Schedule a complimentary 15-minute call to learn how we can help you create a Life & Legacy Plan that will take care of everyone and everything you love.

To get started, click here and schedule a complimentary 15-minute call.

Hiring a Lawyer: What Flat Fees, Hourly Fees and Retainer Billing Could Mean For Your Life and Family

Trying to find the right lawyer to help with legal matters, especially if you are under the gun in a crisis situation, but even if you aren’t, can often feel like navigating uncharted waters. You want to find an attorney you like who will understand your family’s needs, but you also have to consider the cost of the attorney you’re hiring, and whether they can meet your immediate needs and be there for you in the long term.

Depending on the type of legal work you need handled, whether it’s a high-conflict litigation matter, a one-off transactional matter, or ongoing strategic support, the options can be confusing to say the least. Maybe you’ve even considered a legal insurance plan or a pre-paid legal program. While the idea of legal insurance is fantastic, the execution is often lacking.

In this blog, we’ll explore your options for hiring a lawyer just by looking at the legal billing models. In future articles, we’ll consider other factors, such as the benefits of consistent relationships, strategic guidance, and proactive risk prevention. In addition, for the purposes of this article, we’ll focus on proactive estate planning, and touch on some of the other more reactive situations, such as crisis planning to support an elder who needs immediate nursing care or a high-conflict divorce or business break-up.

 

 

The Pitfalls and Costs of Hourly Billing

 

 

Hourly billing, tracked and invoiced in 6-minute increments, was the standard legal billing model for generations. If you’ve ever hired a lawyer billing by the hour, you probably experienced the reality where you really didn’t want to share too much with that lawyer, and wanted to keep your conversations as concise as possible, always tracking whether the conversation strayed into anything personal and perhaps wondering “am I getting billed for this?”

As a result, when hiring an attorney who bills by the hour, you’ll likely find yourself hesitant to contact your attorney with questions or additional pieces of information because you don’t want to incur extra costs or get a surprise bill in the mail. This creates a barrier to open communication with your lawyer and can keep you from getting the legal support you truly need.

Or, you may not even think about how your lawyer is billing, and after a quick phone call to your lawyer here and an email to them there, you could be caught off guard by how quickly those 6-minute increments add up to substantial invoices you weren’t planning on. This can harm your relationship with your lawyer, make it challenging to budget for legal services effectively, and can leave you feeling stressed about your legal bills instead of focusing on the reason that brought you to the lawyer in the first place.

Complex cases or unforeseen complications can inflate your bill even more by prolonging the time your lawyer is needed to complete the work. Even without a complex case, hourly billing may unintentionally skew your lawyer’s incentives. After all, a longer legal process means more billable hours for them. If you’re wondering if this is the case with your lawyer, it negatively impacts your sense of trust in your relationship with them.
Hourly rates for lawyers can be as low as $125 per hour, and as high as $1000 or more per hour. In some big firms, they even get as high as $2000 per hour now. The general range seems to be $250-$650 per hour, depending on the type of matter.

Because hourly billing comes with so many risks to the relationship with your lawyer and your bank account, whenever possible, we recommend that you work with a lawyer who is experienced enough in the type of matter they are handling for you that they are able to quote you a flat fee for a specific outcome related to the work you need handled.

 

 

The Advantages of Flat Fees

 

Choosing a lawyer who charges flat fees flips the script, offering a straightforward and transparent approach to legal billing. With flat fees, you know exactly what you’ll pay from the outset, and what you’ll be delivered in return. As we say here in our office: everything is billed on a flat-fee basis, agreed to in advance, so there are no surprises. This transparency eliminates the stress of unexpected costs and allows you to plan for legal expenses more effectively.

Flat fees give you and your lawyer room to speak freely about your needs without feeling as if you need to watch the clock or wonder if you’ve strayed too far afield in your conversation and connection. This means you can ask questions without worry, and leave it to your lawyer to set boundaries around whether any of the additions you may want would increase the fee for the services you need.

The way we see this work in our office when we are focusing on your estate planning matters is that we’ve invested considerable time in coming up with a flat fee billing structure that’s based around the outcomes you desire, rather than the specific documents you need, and that is flexible to change and grow with you over time.

For example, you may begin with a plan that is focused on keeping your kids in the care of people you know, love, and trust but doesn’t fully avoid the court process. Later, you might upgrade to a more comprehensive plan that focuses more on asset protection. The critical aspect here is that your fee is tied to the outcomes you desire, not the hours it takes or the documents we create.

When an attorney charges a fee for their services that is based on the outcome you desire, you know you’re getting a comprehensive package, not just one or two documents or a set of hours that won’t actually deliver for you and your family at the end of the day.

Keeping The Focus On You

 

As your dedicated Personal Family Lawyer® firm, we specialize in providing comprehensive estate planning with a focus on our client relationships. That means charging a reasonable flat fee for a comprehensive plan where we can take the time to get to know you, your family, and your needs on an intimate level and tailor your fee to the outcomes you desire.

Plus, we understand that planning for death and incapacity can be a lot to think about, and we want to give you the mental and emotional space to consider your estate planning options without the anxiety or distraction of a bill that changes every month. We want our time spent together to be entirely focused on you and your needs.

If you’re ready to create an estate plan for the people you love that will serve and protect them for years to come, we invite you to reach out.

Schedule a complimentary discovery call with us to get started.

 

To get started, click here and schedule a complimentary 15-minute call.

What Caregivers Need to Know About Estate Planning for a Loved One With Dementia – Part 2

Last week, we started our discussion on estate planning for a loved one with a dementia diagnosis and what this means for their ability to protect their wishes through an estate plan. We covered:

  • What it means to have mental capacity or be incapacitated
  • How dementia affects capacity for estate planning purposes
  • The essential estate planning tools a person with dementia needs to create right away

However, as dementia progresses, estate planning must become more proactive and strategic than ever to avoid court and conflict over your loved one’s wishes in the future. If dementia becomes too advanced before planning is complete, the question of who will manage your loved one’s assets and care will be left to a judge who doesn’t know your loved one or their wishes.

Keep reading to learn what steps need to be considered when estate planning for someone with more advanced dementia.

 

 

Seek a Cognitive Evaluation

 

 

If your loved one’s cognitive capacity is in question, seeking a professional evaluation is a prudent and proactive step in the estate planning process. Schedule an appointment with your loved one’s primary care physician or a specialist in dementia care to assess their mental state and make a recommendation on your loved one’s ability to make estate planning decisions.

During this evaluation, the medical professional will talk to your loved one and ask them questions about their everyday life, how aware they are of their circumstances, and what they would do in certain situations, such as if a stranger came to the door or if a pipe burst in their home.

Your loved one doesn’t need to remember every detail about their life for the evaluation to be beneficial. The professional will be most concerned with your loved one’s ability to analyze a scenario and make a thoughtful decision on how to respond. For example, your loved one may not remember what day of the week it is but may remember they shouldn’t open the door for a stranger.

Receiving a report from your loved one’s doctor stating they have the cognitive ability to make estate planning decisions (at least when they are in a lucid state) protects their ability to make decisions for their finances and healthcare, and dissuades any future debate from third parties as to whether your loved one had the ability to make a plan in the first place.

 

 

Encourage Private Meetings Between Your Loved One and Their Lawyer

 

It may be second nature to help your loved one with appointments, especially if hearing and memory troubles make it difficult for your loved one to follow along. But as much as possible, allow your loved one to meet with their lawyer independently. A private meeting between your loved one and their lawyer will provide them with the opportunity to express their wishes without external influence.

Even if you have your loved one’s best intentions at heart and they would prefer to have you present during the meetings, encouraging your loved one to have private conversations with their lawyer when possible helps avoid questions about whether or not you influenced their estate planning decisions.
If it isn’t feasible for your loved one to have an entire meeting with their lawyer alone, make sure they at least have opportunities to talk to their attorney in private by leaving the room while your attorney confirms their wishes.

Be sure to document every time your loved one meets alone with their lawyer and ask their lawyer to document it as well.

Make Sure Their Estate Plan Is Executed Carefully

 

Unfortunately, errors that occur at the time an estate plan is signed are common. Every state has different laws for how estate planning documents are executed, how they can be signed, and what witnesses or notaries are required to make the document binding.

If your loved one’s plan isn’t executed properly, it can result in your family needing to involve a judge to determine whether the estate plan is still valid. This also creates an opportunity for family members to question whether your loved one had the mental capacity to create the plan at all.

It’s also essential to document your loved one’s capacity at the time the estate plan documents are signed. Make sure that their lawyer reviews the documents carefully with your loved one before they sign them, that the documents reflect your loved one’s wishes, and that your loved one is creating the plan of their own free will.

If you have any concerns about other family members questioning your loved one’s estate planning decisions or mental state at the time, ask your loved one and their attorney if they could record the signing meeting to dispel any claims that your loved one was coerced into planning or didn’t know what they were signing.

 

Conclusion

If your loved one received a dementia diagnosis and hasn’t addressed their legal matters, don’t despair – but act fast. Even in the advanced stages of dementia, individuals may have moments when they can participate in decision-making and estate planning. But, due to the progressive nature of dementia, time is of the essence for your loved one to create an estate plan, and the sooner they plan, the easier it will be for them to get the help they need as their condition progresses.

In cases where your loved one’s capacity is severely diminished and estate planning hasn’t been completed, your family will need to pursue a court guardianship. This legal arrangement involves a court appointing a legal guardian who assumes responsibility for making decisions on behalf of the person with dementia. This process can be stressful, and it’s possible the court will appoint someone your loved one never would have wanted to manage their assets or healthcare decisions.

To make sure your loved one’s wishes are documented before it’s too late, I invite you to book a Life & Legacy Planning Session™ with my office today. Our team is dedicated to providing compassionate guidance and legal expertise to ensure the well-being and wishes of your loved one are preserved.

 

 

To get started, click here and schedule a complimentary 15-minute call.

What Caregivers Need to Know About Estate Planning for a Loved One With Dementia – Part 1

Caring for a loved one with dementia is a challenge that millions of families undertake each year. As a caregiver, understanding how a dementia diagnosis affects your loved one’s legal decision-making is crucial to ensuring their wishes are honored and that you are providing them with the best possible care.

In this blog, we’ll explore the importance of estate planning, even after a dementia diagnosis, as the best method to ensure the wishes and rights of your loved one are protected.

 

 

Understanding Incapacity

 

 

Dementia is a progressive condition that affects memory, cognition, and daily functioning. As dementia causes your loved one’s cognitive abilities to decline, there may come a time when they are no longer able to make sound decisions about their finances, healthcare, and overall well-being.

When the effects of dementia make it difficult for a person to understand information and make sound decisions, that person is considered to be incapacitated, which means they can no longer legally make healthcare or financial decisions for themselves. This change in their memory and cognition can be emotionally overwhelming for both your loved one and your whole family, and without proper planning, can require court involvement.

But, there’s still some good news. Thoughtful estate planning can ensure that your loved one is cared for by the people they know and trust if they can no longer care for themselves, and even if you’re loved one has already been diagnosed with dementia, it is still possible for them to create a legally-binding estate plan during the early stages of the disease.

 

 

Estate Planning In The Early Stages of Dementia

 

Every adult should create certain legal documents to protect their rights and wishes, and this is no different for a loved one with a dementia diagnosis. What is important to remember is that in order to create a legal document, you need to have mental capacity – meaning you need to be fully aware of what you are doing and what the consequences of your choices will be.

Thankfully, a person does not need to constantly be in a state of capacity to create an estate plan. As long as your loved one has the mental capacity at the moment they sign their estate plan documents, the documents will be valid, even if they regress into a state of incapacity afterward.

In the early stages of dementia, and ideally long before any health problems surface, your loved one should create (or review and update) the following estate planning documents:

General Durable Power of Attorney

 

A General Durable Power of Attorney (POA) is a legal tool that allows your loved one to appoint someone to make financial and legal decisions on their behalf. Their POA can write checks, pay bills, maintain their home, and manage their financial assets.

This document becomes especially significant as dementia progresses. Encourage your loved one to designate a trusted individual as their financial Power of Attorney while they are still able to make such decisions.

A Revocable Living Trust

 

A General Durable Power of Attorney is an important tool, but many financial institutions place constraints on the use of a POA or don’t acknowledge their authority at all. To make sure your loved one has complete protection of their financial wishes, encourage them to establish a Revocable Living Trust and move their assets into the name of the Trust. Creating a Trust document alone is not sufficient. Assets must be retitled, and beneficiary designations updated to ensure all assets are covered by the Trust, and that the named Successor Trustee can step in with ease, when necessary.

As part of creating a Trust, your loved one will name the person they want to manage their assets when they are no longer able to do so. This person is called the Trustee or Successor Trustee. The Trustee and Power of Attorney are often the same person, but not always.

Determination of who should serve in what role, and at what point your loved one should give up control over their financial assets is part of what we counsel our clients to decide. If you have any uncertainty whatsoever, please call us to discuss. It’s far better to get the right tools in place, and the right people named, early than it is to wait until it’s too late. Once it’s too late, it’s really too late, and your family could be stuck with a court process as the only path.

By having these two estate planning tools in place and the support of our proactive guidance, you can rest assured that the people your loved one knows and loves will be able to manage their assets for them as their dementia progresses. One of the best things we’ve experienced about part of this process it that the people who have taken care of all of this before they begin to experience dementia are able to relax into a phase of life that can often be full of anxiety because they know it’s been handled.

Power of Attorney for Healthcare

 

Similar to a General Durable POA, a Power of Attorney for Healthcare (HPOA) appoints someone to make medical decisions on behalf of your loved one when they are unable to do so for themselves. Discussing and establishing a Healthcare Power of Attorney early on allows your loved one to express their medical preferences and ensures their wishes are honored.

Their Power of Attorney for Healthcare should also include a Declaration to Physicians, also called a Living Will, that outlines their desires regarding medical treatment, life support, and end-of-life care. Creating a Declaration to Physicians and discussing their wishes with you ensures that their preferences regarding life-sustaining treatment, resuscitation, and other medical interventions are documented and respected.

The economic burden of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or advanced dementia can be significant – between $2,500 to more than $10,000/month is not unusual. The time to discuss these costs, and what you or your loved one want is right now, before dementia or Alzheimer’s makes it impossible to have any choice.

 

Plan As Early As Possible

One of the most crucial steps in preparing for the challenges of dementia is to help your loved one complete their estate planning while they still have the capacity to do so. Waiting until the later stages of the disease can limit their options and increase stress for everyone involved.

By addressing legal matters early on, you can ensure that your loved one’s wishes are respected, and their affairs are managed in the way they intended, by the people they trust, without the need for court involvement.

If you have a loved one with more advanced dementia, check back here next week as we explore late-stage estate planning options and methods to avoid family and legal conflict over your loved one’s care.

To learn more, click the button below to schedule a complimentary 15-minute call with our office.

 

 

To get started, click here and schedule a complimentary 15-minute call.

Holding Space for Grief: Ways to Comfort and Support A Loved One in Mourning

Losing a loved one is an incredibly challenging experience, and the journey through grief can be both complex and overwhelming. Unfortunately, we all experience grief at one time or another, and knowing how to manage your own grief and how to be there for others who are grieving is an important skill that can improve your life and relationships.

As your Personal Family Lawyer ® firm, we understand that our role extends beyond legal matters. In times of loss, it’s crucial to provide comfort and support to those grieving, and when they’re ready, guidance for the steps ahead.

In this blog, we explore practical and heartfelt ways to hold space for your loved ones who are mourning.

 

 

01 | Express Empathy

 

 

When someone is grieving, the simple act of expressing empathy can provide immense comfort. Let your loved one know that you are there for them, ready to listen without judgment. Phrases like “I’m here for you,” or “I’m so sorry for your loss” can make a significant impact.

If you have also lost a loved one, consider relying on your own experience to relate to their feelings and encourage the person that they will make it through this. Just be mindful to keep the focus on their feelings, as everyone experiences the emotions of loss differently.

If you aren’t sure what to say or aren’t able to be with them physically, a heartfelt card or a handwritten note can convey your sympathy in a tangible and lasting way. Being present on a telephone call can also be extremely comforting. Even if your loved one doesn’t want to talk, just being together in silence can help.

 

 

02 | Create a Safe Environment

 

Grief is a personal journey, and everyone copes differently. Some may need solitude, while others seek companionship. Respect your loved one’s grieving process and offer support tailored to their needs.

Grieving individuals often need a safe space to express their feelings without fear of judgment. Encourage open communication and let your loved one know that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions. Avoid offering unsolicited advice and instead, provide a listening ear.

Sometimes, just being present and allowing them to share memories or express their pain can be incredibly therapeutic.

If your loved one doesn’t feel like talking or being around others, don’t push them. Leave them a message of support and give them space. Check in with them only if you haven’t heard from them in an unusual amount of time based on your relationship with them.

Be patient and understand that the stages of grief are unique to each individual. Even if your loved one is feeling better, they will likely have days or weeks where they will feel overwhelmed by grief again. Offer comfort in these moments without trying to change how they feel.

03 | Offer Practical Help

 

During times of grief, even daily tasks can feel insurmountable. Offering practical help, such as preparing a meal, running errands, or assisting with household chores, can make a world of difference to someone in mourning. Small gestures can alleviate the burden on your loved one, allowing them the time and space they need to navigate their emotions.

If your loved one is grieving for their spouse, they may be at a loss for how to manage their finances or other daily tasks that their partner normally would have handled. Offer to help them pay their bills, set up memorial arrangements, or inform your other relatives about the loss. If your loved one has children to care for, offer to watch their kids for a while, pick them up after school, or help with homework.

Where you’re able, try to assist your loved one as part of a routine or ritual. Establishing routines can provide a sense of stability amid grief. This could be as simple as giving them a weekly phone call to check in, a monthly visit to a special place, or inviting them over for dinner every Sunday. The consistency and socialization these routines bring can offer a source of connection and help ease the depression that comes with loss.

 

Ease The Burden of Loss on Your Family By Planning Ahead

In times of grief, the support of friends and family is crucial. But the best way to alleviate some of the stress and anxiety that comes with the loss of a loved one is to create a plan ahead of time. By doing so, everyone you love will know exactly what you want to happen if you become incapacitated or die, and the care of your assets, bills, and loved ones will be handled quickly and smoothly by the people you trust.

Even more importantly, your loved ones will have the support of your Personal Family Lawyer® to walk them through any necessary legal steps they need to take during the mourning process.

To learn more about how we can help you create a plan that will provide guidance, comfort, and ease for your loved ones after your death or incapacity, schedule a complimentary call with our office.

We would be honored to be there for your family.

 

 

To get started, click here and schedule a complimentary 15-minute call.

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Anastasia Fainberg
Attorney at Law
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MATTHEW MEULI