CONTACT US: (303)381-2275
МЫ ГОВОРИМ ПО-РУССКИ
CONTACT US: (303)381-2275
МЫ ГОВОРИМ ПО-РУССКИ

Category: Family

Holding Space for Grief: Ways to Comfort and Support A Loved One in Mourning

Posted on by Daria Johnson

Losing a loved one is an incredibly challenging experience, and the journey through grief can be both complex and overwhelming. Unfortunately, we all experience grief at one time or another, and knowing how to manage your own grief and how to be there for others who are grieving is an important skill that can improve your life and relationships.

As your Personal Family Lawyer ® firm, we understand that our role extends beyond legal matters. In times of loss, it’s crucial to provide comfort and support to those grieving, and when they’re ready, guidance for the steps ahead.

In this blog, we explore practical and heartfelt ways to hold space for your loved ones who are mourning.

 

 

01 | Express Empathy

 

 

When someone is grieving, the simple act of expressing empathy can provide immense comfort. Let your loved one know that you are there for them, ready to listen without judgment. Phrases like “I’m here for you,” or “I’m so sorry for your loss” can make a significant impact.

If you have also lost a loved one, consider relying on your own experience to relate to their feelings and encourage the person that they will make it through this. Just be mindful to keep the focus on their feelings, as everyone experiences the emotions of loss differently.

If you aren’t sure what to say or aren’t able to be with them physically, a heartfelt card or a handwritten note can convey your sympathy in a tangible and lasting way. Being present on a telephone call can also be extremely comforting. Even if your loved one doesn’t want to talk, just being together in silence can help.

 

 

02 | Create a Safe Environment

 

Grief is a personal journey, and everyone copes differently. Some may need solitude, while others seek companionship. Respect your loved one’s grieving process and offer support tailored to their needs.

Grieving individuals often need a safe space to express their feelings without fear of judgment. Encourage open communication and let your loved one know that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions. Avoid offering unsolicited advice and instead, provide a listening ear.

Sometimes, just being present and allowing them to share memories or express their pain can be incredibly therapeutic.

If your loved one doesn’t feel like talking or being around others, don’t push them. Leave them a message of support and give them space. Check in with them only if you haven’t heard from them in an unusual amount of time based on your relationship with them.

Be patient and understand that the stages of grief are unique to each individual. Even if your loved one is feeling better, they will likely have days or weeks where they will feel overwhelmed by grief again. Offer comfort in these moments without trying to change how they feel.

03 | Offer Practical Help

 

During times of grief, even daily tasks can feel insurmountable. Offering practical help, such as preparing a meal, running errands, or assisting with household chores, can make a world of difference to someone in mourning. Small gestures can alleviate the burden on your loved one, allowing them the time and space they need to navigate their emotions.

If your loved one is grieving for their spouse, they may be at a loss for how to manage their finances or other daily tasks that their partner normally would have handled. Offer to help them pay their bills, set up memorial arrangements, or inform your other relatives about the loss. If your loved one has children to care for, offer to watch their kids for a while, pick them up after school, or help with homework.

Where you’re able, try to assist your loved one as part of a routine or ritual. Establishing routines can provide a sense of stability amid grief. This could be as simple as giving them a weekly phone call to check in, a monthly visit to a special place, or inviting them over for dinner every Sunday. The consistency and socialization these routines bring can offer a source of connection and help ease the depression that comes with loss.

 

Ease The Burden of Loss on Your Family By Planning Ahead

In times of grief, the support of friends and family is crucial. But the best way to alleviate some of the stress and anxiety that comes with the loss of a loved one is to create a plan ahead of time. By doing so, everyone you love will know exactly what you want to happen if you become incapacitated or die, and the care of your assets, bills, and loved ones will be handled quickly and smoothly by the people you trust.

Even more importantly, your loved ones will have the support of your Personal Family Lawyer® to walk them through any necessary legal steps they need to take during the mourning process.

To learn more about how we can help you create a plan that will provide guidance, comfort, and ease for your loved ones after your death or incapacity, schedule a complimentary call with our office.

We would be honored to be there for your family.

 

 

To get started, click here and schedule a complimentary 15-minute call.

What You Must Know About Your Right to Your Spouse’s Retirement Benefits

Posted on by Daria Johnson

If you’re part of a blended family (meaning you are married with children from a prior marriage in the mix), you’re no stranger to the extra considerations and planning it takes to keep your family’s life running smoothly – from which parent your children will be with for the holidays to figuring out the schedule for a much-needed family vacation. You’ve also probably given some thought to what you want to happen to your assets and your family if something happens to you.

But what you might not have realized is this: If you don’t create a plan for your assets before you die, the law has its own plan for you that might not reflect your wishes for your assets, especially your retirement assets. And if you’re in a blended family, this can have a significant financial impact on the ones you love and even create expensive, long-term conflict.

This week, I explain how the law affects retirement distributions for married couples, and why you need to be extra careful with your retirement planning if you’re in a blended family to ensure your retirement account assets go to the right people in the right amounts after you’re gone.

 

 

Be Aware of How ERISA Affects 401K Distributions

 

 

If you’ve remarried, you and your new spouse have probably talked about updating the beneficiary designations on your retirement accounts to reflect your blended family arrangement. (If you haven’t talked about it, you need to talk about it ASAP). Sometimes, people who are remarried decide to leave their retirement funds to their children from a prior marriage and leave other assets like their house and savings accounts to their current spouse. You may do this to avoid future conflict between your spouse and your children over your assets.

But even if you want to leave your retirement for just your children, if you’re married and your retirement account is a work-sponsored account, your children won’t inherit the entire account even if you name them as the sole beneficiaries.

That’s because the federal Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA) governs most employer-sponsored pensions and retirement accounts. Under ERISA, if you’re married at the time of your death, your spouse is automatically entitled to receive 50 percent of the value of your employer-sponsored plan – even if your beneficiary designations say otherwise.

The only time that your surviving spouse would not inherit half of your ERISA-governed retirement account is if your spouse signs an official Spousal Waiver saying they are affirmatively waiving their right to inherit 50 percent of the account, or if the account beneficiary is a Trust of which your spouse is a primary beneficiary.

 

 

IRAs Have Different Rules Than 401Ks

 

If you want your children to inherit more than 50 percent of your work-sponsored retirement benefits, and completing a Spousal Waiver isn’t an option, consider rolling the account into a personal IRA instead.

In contrast to 401(k)s and similar employer-sponsored plans, IRAs are controlled by state law instead of ERISA. That means that your spouse is not automatically entitled to any part of your IRA.

When you roll a 401(k) into an IRA, you gain the flexibility to name anyone you choose as the designated beneficiary, with or without your spouse’s consent.

On the other hand, if you want to ensure your spouse receives half of your retirement savings, make sure to include them as a 50 percent beneficiary or better yet, have your individual retirement account payout to a Trust instead. With a Trust, you can:

  • Document exactly how much of your retirement you want each of your loved ones to receive
  • Control when they receive the funds outright
  • Easily update and change the terms of your Trust without having to remember to update your financial accounts.

Beneficiary Designations Always Trump Your Will

 

Whether you have an employer-sponsored 401K or an IRA you manage yourself, there is one critical rule that everyone needs to know: beneficiary designations trump your Will.
A Will is an important estate planning tool, but most people don’t know that beneficiary designations override whatever your Will says about a particular asset.

For example, if your Will states that you want your retirement account to be passed on to your brother, but the beneficiary designation on the account says you want it to go to your sister, your sister will inherit the account, even though your Will says otherwise.

Similarly, let’s imagine that you get divorced and as part of your divorce decree your ex-spouse agrees that they will not have any right to your retirement fund. However, after the divorce, you forget to take their name off of the beneficiary designation for the account. If you die before updating the beneficiary designation, your former spouse will inherit your retirement account.

If you forget to update your ERISA-controlled account and have remarried, your current spouse would receive half of the account and your former spouse would receive the other half. That’s why it’s so important to work with an estate planning attorney who can make sure your accounts are set up with the proper beneficiary designations and ensure that your assets are passed on according to your wishes.

 

Work With An Attorney Who Makes Sure All Your Assets Will Be Passed On How You Want Them To

Understanding how the law affects different types of assets is essential to creating an estate plan. But there’s more to it than just having a lawyer – you need an attorney who takes the time to really understand your family and your assets so they can design a custom plan that achieves your goals for your assets and your legacy.

That’s why we help our clients create an inventory of all of their assets to ensure that every asset they hold is accounted for and passed on to their loved ones exactly as they want it to.

Learn more about how we serve our clients differently than most lawyers; schedule a complimentary call with us. We’d be honored to share how our unique process can help your family.

 

 

To get started, click here and schedule a complimentary 15-minute call.

How to Talk Money With Your Family Over The Holidays

Posted on by Daria Johnson

The holidays are right around the corner, which means more time to gather with family and relatives than any other time of the year. If you’ve been meaning to talk to your family about money, inheritance, end-of-life decisions, estate planning, and creating a plan for your whole family’s wealth – now and in the future – having everyone in the same room is ideal.

But asking your relatives how they want their assets handled when they die or if they become incapacitated might not go over well while opening presents or carving a turkey.

To keep your family from feeling blindsided and to make the most of your conversation, consider the following three tips.

 

 

01 | Share Your Intention Ahead of Time

 

 

Many people feel uncomfortable talking about their finances. They may have grown up in a family where money talk was considered taboo or perhaps they simply don’t want the details of their finances to create family tension. Some people also feel like talking about estate planning and making a plan for their money is plain bad luck (but we’re happy to report that planning for your assets does not increase your chance of dying, as you’ve already got a 100% chance of death, but it does increase your chances of leaving behind a happy, well-adjusted family).

To help your loved ones feel at ease, don’t bring money talk up for the first time while the family is gathered around the TV watching football. Instead, approach the topic weeks ahead of time if possible.

If you have regular visits or phone calls with your loved ones, let them know you’ve been thinking about creating a plan for your own money and the care of the family in case something happens to you. Casually mentioning that it’s on your mind will help plant the seed for a future conversation with your loved ones and likely get them thinking about their own plan or lack of a plan.

As your family gathering approaches, bring up the subject again, this time with more intention and detail. Consider asking the host of your family gatherings, whether it’s your sibling, parent, or adult child when the best time would be to have an all-family conversation about money for 90 minutes. Schedule it and let everyone know that you’ve got something meaningful planned.

If the host pushes back against the idea, respond with curiosity about their experience, what they feel apprehensive about, and if there is a way that you could mitigate their apprehension perhaps by speaking with other family members in advance.

If you’ve already completed your own planning, use your experience as a springboard for the conversation. More on this below.

 

 

02 | Set Aside a Time and Place to Talk

 

 

Discussing money while opening Christmas gifts isn’t likely to have the results you want. Your best bet is to schedule a time to gather to talk without distractions or interruptions.
Be upfront with your family about the meeting’s purpose so no one is taken by surprise and so they come prepared for the talk. Choose a setting that’s comfortable, quiet, and private. The more relaxed everyone is, the more likely they’ll be comfortable opening up.

Begin by sharing the context of why it’s important to you that your family begin having conversations about money, life and death. You may even want to share that the topic is uncomfortable for you, but that it’s important enough that you are willing to be uncomfortable because you know that these conversations can bring your family closer together, create more family resilience, and ensure you are all financially well-cared for, always.

Finally, as part of setting context, set a start and stop time for the conversation. Remember, the goal is to simply get the conversation started, not work out all of the details or dollar amounts, so don’t expect this to be the one and only conversation you have – its a start.

 

03 | Share Your Planning Experience

 

If you’ve already created your own plan, and it included an inventory of your assets, a look at what is enough, and what would happen to it all when something happens to you (which is what we do during our first Planning Session with you), you can start by explaining how you felt during the process, how easy it was, and how you feel now knowing that your assets and loved ones will be cared for the way you want if something happens to you.

If you’ve worked with us as your Personal Family Lawyer® firm, describe how the process unfolded and how we supported you to create a plan designed for your unique wishes and needs.

Share any concerns or doubts you initially had about planning and how we worked with you to address them. If you have loved ones who’ve yet to do any planning and have doubts about its usefulness, empathize with them in a supportive and understanding way, and share your own journey learning the benefits of planning for your money and your wishes.

If you haven’t created a plan yet, or have doubts about a plan you created with another attorney, be open about why you want to create a plan for your life and death, such as a desire to avoid family conflict, to ensure that a child, disabled relative, or senior parent is cared for in the future, or to build generational wealth and a legacy for your family. Focus on the benefits that planning will have for both your immediate family and your extended family as a whole.

 

Bringing Families Together

 

Talking to loved ones about money and estate planning can be difficult, but as your Personal Family Lawyer® firm, we can guide and support you in having these intimate discussions with your loved ones. When done right, planning can put your life and relationships into a much clearer focus and offer peace of mind knowing that your assets will be protected and that the people you love most will be provided for no matter what.

If you’ve already created a plan with us, be sure to share our library of blog resources HERE with your loved ones. If you haven’t created your own estate plan, doing so before you talk with your family can help your loved ones be more open to the idea and can help them see the incredible benefit of planning from one of their own family members.

Schedule a complimentary call with us using the button below to learn more.

To get started, click here and schedule a complimentary 15-minute call.

Transition to Adulthood: What Happens Legally When My Child Turns 18?

Posted on by Daria Johnson

Soon after the challenges of puberty and the excitement of high school, an even larger milestone looms: the 18th birthday. It marks your child’s transition from childhood to adulthood, and with it new responsibilities and rights. From a legal standpoint, this milestone also brings significant changes that every parent should be aware of.

In the eyes of the law, an individual is considered a legal adult at the age of 18. This means that your child gains certain rights and privileges, including the ability to enter into contracts, vote, buy property, and make medical decisions for themselves. While this newfound independence is a crucial part of growing up, it can also pose challenges for parents, especially when adult children need their parents’ help or need someone to make decisions on their behalf.

In this blog post, we’ll explore what happens legally when your child turns 18, what it means for your ability to make legal, financial and healthcare decisions on their behalf, and what tools you’ll need for a smooth transition to adulthood.

 

 

How The Law Changes Your Role As A Parent

 

 

On the day your child turns 18, your ability to make legal, financial and healthcare decisions for them essentially disappears in a blink. To give you a sense of how impactful this can be, if your now 18-year old or older child is hospitalized and unable to communicate their wishes, healthcare providers won’t even legally be able to share your child’s medical information with you. Similarly, financial institutions won’t permit you to access your child’s accounts or make financial decisions on their behalf without their consent – or unless you’re a co-owner of their accounts.

This shift in decision-making authority can feel unsettling and can be particularly challenging if your child is still financially dependent on you, is in a medical emergency, or requires assistance in managing their affairs due to a disability. Thankfully, there are legal tools that can help parents and young adults navigate these new challenges.

 

 

Have Their Back With Powers of Attorney

 

 

A Power of Attorney is a legal tool that allows your child to designate the person they choose to make legal or healthcare decisions on their behalf. There are two common types of Powers of Attorney that can be valuable in this situation: a General Durable Power of Attorney and a Power of Attorney for Healthcare.

A General Durable Power of Attorney allows your child to appoint someone to manage their financial affairs in the event they become incapacitated or if they just want help managing their finances. With this in place, you can continue to assist your child with financial matters, even after they turn 18.

The important thing to remember however is that not every financial institution will honor a Power of Attorney, so while every adult should have this legal tool, it’s important to check with your specific institution and possibly set up your child’s accounts in a different way to ensure you have immediate access to them if needed. We’d be happy to discuss which options are best for you and your adult child.

A Power of Attorney for Healthcare grants someone the authority to make medical decisions on your child’s behalf if they are unable to do so, such as medication and treatment options, nutritional needs, and life-support measures. This is crucial to ensure that your child receives the care they want, even if they cannot communicate their preferences.

Only your child can put these measures in place, but encouraging them to create these legal documents is a proactive step in maintaining your ability to assist them when they need it most.

 

Stay Informed With a HIPAA Waiver

 

The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) is a federal law that protects the privacy of individuals’ medical records. Once your child turns 18, their medical information is protected under HIPAA, and healthcare providers are prohibited from disclosing it to anyone without the patient’s explicit consent – parents and family members included.

To maintain access to your child’s medical information, they must complete a HIPAA waiver. This document permits healthcare providers to share medical information with individuals specified in the waiver, such as parents or trusted family members.

Having a HIPAA waiver in place can be invaluable during medical emergencies when swift access to medical records is critical. It can also be a valuable tool for young adults who may simply appreciate a parent’s ability to speak to their doctors when they aren’t feeling well or are overwhelmed with the demands of work, college, or both.

 

Support Their Journey Into Adulthood Through Open Communication

 

Transitioning to adulthood is a significant step for both parents and children. While legal documents such as Powers of Attorney and a HIPAA Waiver are essential, it’s equally important to have open and honest conversations with your child about their wishes and the responsibilities that come with adulthood.

Discuss their healthcare preferences, financial decisions, and their expectations from you as a parent. Encourage them to consider creating these legal documents not only for your peace of mind but also for their own protection.

We invite you to reach out to our firm at any time, but if you have a teen who is approaching adulthood, reach out to us right away to ensure your child has the legal support and protection they need no matter what adulthood brings.

And if you aren’t sure how to talk with your adult child about these legal tools, we can help you start the conversation from a place of love, compassion, and collaboration.

Schedule a complimentary call today to get started, and when you do ask about our special offer of free legal documents for your young adult, when you schedule your own Life & Legacy Planning Session with us.

To get started, click here and schedule a complimentary 15-minute call.

The Scary Truth: Naming Godparents Does Not Create Legal Guardians

Posted on by Daria Johnson

As a parent, your top priority is the well-being and future of your children. You plan for their education, health, and happiness, and often this planning includes the tradition of choosing godparents to guide and mentor your children if something happens to you.

While selecting godparents is a meaningful tradition in many cultures, it’s important to understand that naming a godparent is not the same thing as naming a legal guardian for your children.
To put it bluntly, even if you have named godparents, if something happens to you, your children could end up in the care of strangers, child protective services or in the long-term care of someone you would never want raising your children.

In this blog, we’ll explain the roles of a godparent and legal guardian and how to ensure your kids are always cared for by the people you choose – no matter what.

 

 

Godparents

 

 

A godparent is traditionally someone you name to watch over your child and help them live according to your morals and values. Godparents are meant to be mentors and role models, guiding your child in matters of faith, morality, and character. The role of a godparent is deeply rooted in religious and cultural traditions, and they often participate in religious ceremonies such as baptisms or confirmations.

Whether your family is religious or not, godparents may also play a supportive role in your child’s life by offering emotional support, advice, and friendship. They can be someone your child can turn to for guidance and a listening ear, but their responsibilities are largely informal and non-legal.

 

 

Legal Guardians

 

 

In contrast, naming a legal guardian for your child is a formal, legal process. A legal guardian is someone who has the legal authority to make decisions on behalf of your child, especially if you, as the parent, are unable to do so. This could occur due to your passing, incapacity, or any situation in which you cannot provide care or make important legal, financial, healthcare or education decisions for your child.

The responsibilities of a legal guardian encompass every area of your child’s life that you would normally manage as a parent. This includes everything from feeding and clothing your child to deciding where they go to school, attending parent-teacher meetings and which extracurricular activities they participate in. Legal guardianship also includes the decisions about where your child lives and what medical treatment they should or should not receive.

A legal guardian may also help manage your child’s financial assets and resources, ensuring their financial well-being. In some cases, if you’ve planned ahead, you may choose to have a different person act as a financial Trustee of the assets you leave for your child, and your chosen Trustee will work alongside the legal guardian to ensure your child is financially supported. In some cases, your guardian and Trustee may be the same person. This is a decision we can help you make during a Life & Legacy Planning Session, based on the specifics of your family dynamics.

 

Why Naming Godparents Isn’t Enough

 

While godparents may be deeply caring and involved in your child’s life, they have no legal authority to make decisions for your child unless they are officially appointed as a legal guardian by the court. That means that until that happens, (if it happens) your child’s godparents are not legally able to make any decisions for your children, including their basic care needs, education, and medical care.

If you become incapacitated or die, and have not legally nominated a guardian (and, ideally, more than one, which is one of the 6 common mistakes families and even lawyers make when naming guardians – click here for our 6 Common Mistakes report) , there could be a complex and expensive custody dispute among your family members. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles may assume you would want your children to live under their care rather than the people you named as godparents. This is especially likely if the people you’ve named as godparents are not related to you by blood or marriage.

Without a legal guardian designation in writing and signed with the formalities of a Will, godparents may find themselves in an expensive court battle over custody rights, and they may not even be named as the legal guardians of your children at all. In fact, the court could name someone you would never want raising your kids as their legal guardian.

 

Life-long Legal Protection for Kids

 

While godparents hold a significant place in your child’s life as mentors and role models, they don’t possess the legal authority to make critical decisions for your child or provide for your child’s physical and financial well-being on their own.

Instead, consider combining the roles of godparents and legal guardians into one. If you’ve already chosen people you trust to serve as lifelong role models and spiritual guardians for your children as their godparents, why not give those people the legal authority to truly perform those duties if something happens to you?

If you aren’t sure who the best guardian or godparent is for your children, we can help. We’ll walk you through a heart-centered process for choosing guardians who genuinely care for your child’s well-being and share your values. Plus, we’ll ensure they have the financial and legal tools needed to give your child the best life possible if you can’t be there.

But don’t stop there. The best way to keep your children safe and secure is to create a comprehensive Kids Protection Plan® that keeps your children in the care of the people you choose in any situation, out of the care of anyone you wouldn’t want, ensures your children can receive prompt medical care, and that the authorities know who to contact in an emergency so your children are never placed in protective custody – even for a minute.

To learn more and to get started today, schedule a complimentary call with my office using the button below.

To get started, click here and schedule a complimentary 15-minute call.

MEET OUR Team
Learn More About Anastasia
Anastasia Fainberg
Attorney at Law
Learn More About Matthew
MATTHEW MEULI

HEAR FROM

Anastasia

AS FEATURED ON KDVR

3600 S YOSEMITE ST,
SUITE 810
DENVER, CO 80237
(303) 954-9428