Category: TRUST

The holidays are right around the corner, which means more time to gather with family and relatives than any other time of the year. If you’ve been meaning to talk to your family about money, inheritance, end-of-life decisions, estate planning, and creating a plan for your whole family’s wealth – now and in the future – having everyone in the same room is ideal.

But asking your relatives how they want their assets handled when they die or if they become incapacitated might not go over well while opening presents or carving a turkey.

To keep your family from feeling blindsided and to make the most of your conversation, consider the following three tips.

 

 

01 | Share Your Intention Ahead of Time

 

 

Many people feel uncomfortable talking about their finances. They may have grown up in a family where money talk was considered taboo or perhaps they simply don’t want the details of their finances to create family tension. Some people also feel like talking about estate planning and making a plan for their money is plain bad luck (but we’re happy to report that planning for your assets does not increase your chance of dying, as you’ve already got a 100% chance of death, but it does increase your chances of leaving behind a happy, well-adjusted family).

To help your loved ones feel at ease, don’t bring money talk up for the first time while the family is gathered around the TV watching football. Instead, approach the topic weeks ahead of time if possible.

If you have regular visits or phone calls with your loved ones, let them know you’ve been thinking about creating a plan for your own money and the care of the family in case something happens to you. Casually mentioning that it’s on your mind will help plant the seed for a future conversation with your loved ones and likely get them thinking about their own plan or lack of a plan.

As your family gathering approaches, bring up the subject again, this time with more intention and detail. Consider asking the host of your family gatherings, whether it’s your sibling, parent, or adult child when the best time would be to have an all-family conversation about money for 90 minutes. Schedule it and let everyone know that you’ve got something meaningful planned.

If the host pushes back against the idea, respond with curiosity about their experience, what they feel apprehensive about, and if there is a way that you could mitigate their apprehension perhaps by speaking with other family members in advance.

If you’ve already completed your own planning, use your experience as a springboard for the conversation. More on this below.

 

 

02 | Set Aside a Time and Place to Talk

 

 

Discussing money while opening Christmas gifts isn’t likely to have the results you want. Your best bet is to schedule a time to gather to talk without distractions or interruptions.
Be upfront with your family about the meeting’s purpose so no one is taken by surprise and so they come prepared for the talk. Choose a setting that’s comfortable, quiet, and private. The more relaxed everyone is, the more likely they’ll be comfortable opening up.

Begin by sharing the context of why it’s important to you that your family begin having conversations about money, life and death. You may even want to share that the topic is uncomfortable for you, but that it’s important enough that you are willing to be uncomfortable because you know that these conversations can bring your family closer together, create more family resilience, and ensure you are all financially well-cared for, always.

Finally, as part of setting context, set a start and stop time for the conversation. Remember, the goal is to simply get the conversation started, not work out all of the details or dollar amounts, so don’t expect this to be the one and only conversation you have – its a start.

 

03 | Share Your Planning Experience

 

If you’ve already created your own plan, and it included an inventory of your assets, a look at what is enough, and what would happen to it all when something happens to you (which is what we do during our first Planning Session with you), you can start by explaining how you felt during the process, how easy it was, and how you feel now knowing that your assets and loved ones will be cared for the way you want if something happens to you.

If you’ve worked with us as your Personal Family Lawyer® firm, describe how the process unfolded and how we supported you to create a plan designed for your unique wishes and needs.

Share any concerns or doubts you initially had about planning and how we worked with you to address them. If you have loved ones who’ve yet to do any planning and have doubts about its usefulness, empathize with them in a supportive and understanding way, and share your own journey learning the benefits of planning for your money and your wishes.

If you haven’t created a plan yet, or have doubts about a plan you created with another attorney, be open about why you want to create a plan for your life and death, such as a desire to avoid family conflict, to ensure that a child, disabled relative, or senior parent is cared for in the future, or to build generational wealth and a legacy for your family. Focus on the benefits that planning will have for both your immediate family and your extended family as a whole.

 

Bringing Families Together

 

Talking to loved ones about money and estate planning can be difficult, but as your Personal Family Lawyer® firm, we can guide and support you in having these intimate discussions with your loved ones. When done right, planning can put your life and relationships into a much clearer focus and offer peace of mind knowing that your assets will be protected and that the people you love most will be provided for no matter what.

If you’ve already created a plan with us, be sure to share our library of blog resources HERE with your loved ones. If you haven’t created your own estate plan, doing so before you talk with your family can help your loved ones be more open to the idea and can help them see the incredible benefit of planning from one of their own family members.

Schedule a complimentary call with us using the button below to learn more.

To get started, click here and schedule a complimentary 15-minute call.

As a parent, you have probably thought about the importance of naming permanent legal guardians for your child in case something happens to you, and maybe you have already done it. If you haven’t yet, take this as the sign that now’s the time to do it, in case the unthinkable happens to you.

But in some cases, naming permanent legal guardians for your child may not be enough to guarantee your kids will always be cared for in the way you want by the people you want. And, there may even be a risk of your kids being taken into the care of strangers or someone you would never want.

Read on to find out if that’s the case for your family, and if it is, contact us ASAP to get your Kids Protection Plan in place.

 

You Leave Your Kids With Non-Related Caregivers

 

If you ever leave your minor kids with a caregiver who isn’t a grandparent, aunt, or other family member that the authorities would naturally leave your kids with if something happens to you, this is what could happen.

Your kids are home with the babysitter. You don’t make it home, and the authorities are called. The authorities show up at your house, and what would they do?

Would they leave your children at home with the person taking care of them while they attempt to find your Will or legal guardian nomination? Would they even be able to find your legal documents? Would your legal documents name someone who would be immediately available to come to stay with your children, and would the authorities leave your children with those people without a court order?

If not, you need a Kids Protection Plan® to fill in the gap.

Permanent guardian nominations only take effect upon your passing and are made official through the court system. This means that they do not give any legal authority to your chosen guardians in an emergency or if you become incapacitated.

Because of this, law enforcement could place your child into protective custody with social services in the event of your sudden absence or incapacity due to an illness or injury. To minimize the chances that would happen, we can name legal guardians for the short-term, and give those named guardians the legal documentation they would need and instructions on what to do immediately if something happens to you.

In addition, we will give you the tools to ensure that anyone staying with your children while you aren’t there knows exactly what to do if something happens to you.

 

You Have Someone In Your Life You Would NEVER Want Raising Your Kids

 

While this may not apply to you, if it does, you absolutely, 100%, without question need to contact us for a Kids Protection Plan® STAT. If you have anyone in your life you would never want raising your kids if you aren’t able to due to illness or injury, we can ensure that person is confidentially excluded from your plan using a Kids Protection Plan®. And, we can structure it so that this confidential document is only brought forward if necessary to keep your children out of the care of the person you would never want to raise them.

 

You Have Unique Desires For Your Kids’ Education, Health Care or Financial Well-Being

 

You’ve probably given a lot of thought to how you want to educate your children, the kinds of healthcare decisions you make for them, and how you want them to experience reality from a financial perspective. If that’s the case, then you absolutely want to ensure that anyone raising your children, if you can’t, will know how you would have wanted these decisions to be made.

Otherwise, if you don’t take the time to leave instructions to the people who could raise your children, they will not know how you would make decisions if you cannot be there to communicate your hopes, dreams, wishes, and desires.

And, here’s the great thing about this … there’s a 99% chance that you are not going to become incapacitated or die while your children are minors (phew), and yet taking the time to write down your unique desires for their well-being and care is an illuminating process in and of itself that will make you a better parent right now.

We hear it again and again from our clients that when they create their Kids Protection Plan® with us, they immediately feel a great deal of relief and a belief that they are being the best parents they can possibly be. They have more clarity about what’s really important to them, what they want to emphasize, who they want their children to develop relationships with, and where they can better focus their own time, energy, and attention.

If you aren’t sure where to start when creating these instructions, don’t worry. We will support you with the whole process when we create your Kids Protection Plan.

 

Comprehensive Protection for The Ones You Love Most

 

Nominating permanent legal guardians is an essential piece of your estate plan, but in reality, it often isn’t enough to ensure your child remains in the care of people you choose, know, love, and trust if something happens to you. If your children are ever left with a relative, or if there is anyone in your life you wouldn’t want raising your kids, or if you have unique high-value wishes for the way your children are raised when it comes to their education, health, or financial well-being, you need a full-fledged Kids Protection Plan®.

If you’re ready to create a Kids Protection Plan® for your child, the first step is to schedule your Life & Legacy Planning™ Session. During the Session, I’ll look at everything you own and everyone you love to get to know your family and your wishes on a personal level. Then I’ll explain how the law would affect your family if something happened to you today, and together, we’ll design a plan that will protect your assets and your loved ones, no matter what.

To get started, click here and schedule a complimentary 15-minute call. We can’t wait to protect your children and your entire family through comprehensive planning.

August is National Make-A-Will Month and you may have received an advertisement in your inbox or mailbox from AARP or the American Red Cross reminding you to get your Will taken care of this month. Both AARP and the Red Cross promoted their partnerships with FreeWill.com, a website that claims to help you create a legally valid Will in just 20 minutes. 

A Will is usually the first thing that comes to mind when you think of getting your affairs in order, so the advice presented by AARP, the Red Cross, and National Make-A-Will Month itself sounds really good. But in reality, the message of AARP and the Red Cross for Make-A-Will Month could leave your family with a stressful mess when you die or if you become incapacitated first.

To understand why, it’s important to know what a Will does and where its limits lie.

A Will Does Not Cover All of Your Assets 

Advertisements and public campaigns about making a Will can make it seem like a Will can take care of all of your needs and all of your assets after you’ve died. In reality, a Will only covers certain items of your property, including any property owned solely in your name and any property that doesn’t have a beneficiary designation.

That means a Will does not control property co-owned by you with others listed as joint tenants or owned as marital property with a spouse, meaning you can only give away your share of any property you own with others, not the entire property.

Assets such as retirement accounts and life insurance policies that have beneficiary designations are not controlled by your Will at all but will instead be paid out directly to the person listed as your beneficiary on each account. Because of this, it’s especially important to make sure your account beneficiaries are up to date. And, that you have backup designations in case your chosen beneficiary isn’t living at the time of your death.

Even if your Will states that you want your wishes to apply to all of your assets, the wishes in your Will are always trumped by beneficiary designations and co-ownership laws.

A Will Does Nothing For You If You Become Incapacitated

Since your Will doesn’t have any authority until after you’ve died, you can’t use it to give someone you trust the power to make decisions for you if you’re incapacitated due to illness or injury.  An incapacity can occur as a result of a car accident, an injury sustained while playing with your softball league, or due to an illness, and may be temporary or permanent.

Tasks like paying your bills, managing your money, and maintaining your home may all require help if you become incapacitated. Likewise, you’ll need someone who can make medical decisions for you if you’re unconscious or unable to communicate your medical choices effectively, such as if you’re in an induced coma in the hospital or have memory problems due to an injury or degenerative condition.

Unfortunately, the people named in your Will have no authority to make decisions for you or act on your behalf while you’re alive unless you’ve given them that power through a separate Power of Attorney. Without it, your loved ones may need to go through a court guardianship process to gain the authority to take care of you and your home.

A Will Must Be Filed in Court to Be Used

One of the biggest estate planning myths I hear from clients is the belief that by having a Will, their loved ones won’t need to go to court after they die.

Sadly, this is the opposite of the truth.

A Will only has the authority to control your assets and represent your decisions when it is filed under a probate case in court after your death. If you named someone in your Will to manage your estate or watch over your children, that person will have no authority to do so while you’re alive. 

Your chosen representatives can only begin the process of managing your assets and following the wishes you’ve left in your Will only after a judge or court commissioner has formally given them the power. While court oversight can be helpful if there is any confusion or disagreement about your estate, the probate process can be long and expensive. Often, the process can take 12 – 18 months or sometimes even longer. 

Due to the length and complexity of the process, going through probate can easily cost your family tens of thousands of dollars. Some states even require that probate cost a certain percentage of your estate’s value.

In addition, because probate is a public court proceeding, your Will becomes part of the public record upon your death, allowing everyone to see the contents of your estate, who your beneficiaries are, and what they’ll receive. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for scammers to use this information to try to take advantage of young or vulnerable beneficiaries who just inherited money from you.

A Will is Not an Estate Plan

Organizations often promote a message of the importance of creating a Will because a Will is a tool that most people have heard of and are familiar with, which makes it an easy launching point to talk about the importance of planning for your assets and your loved ones. But the thing is, a Will isn’t the one-and-done solution that most people are led to believe. 

The terms “Will” and “estate plan” are often used interchangeably to mean a tool for dispersing your assets and protecting your wishes, but these two terms are not the same. In reality, a Will is just one piece of your overall estate plan, not the entire plan itself. An estate plan isn’t just one or two documents – it’s a range of strategic decisions about the allocation and title of your assets, and it’s a set of tools and counseling-oriented planning that make sure everything and everyone you love is taken care of both while you’re alive and after you’re gone. 

Your complete estate plan may include a Will, a Trust, Powers of Attorney, and other tools that are tailored to your specific situation, local laws, and your vision for the future. 

And even more important than both a Will and a Trust, is an inventory of your assets so your family knows what you have, where it is, and how to find it when you become incapacitated or die. Without an inventory of your assets, your family will be lost when something happens to you. A comprehensive inventory updated throughout your lifetime is a critical, and often overlooked, piece of an estate plan that is just a Will.

Trusted Guidance and Counseling

An online program may be able to give you a legally valid Will or other legal documents, but just because something is legally valid doesn’t mean it will be effective. And any document created through a 20-minute online tool is almost guaranteed not to work for you and your loved ones when they need it. 

If you’re ready to see how having an estate plan created for your family with heart-forward professional guidance is different than just creating a Will online, schedule your Family Wealth Planning Session™ today. During the session, we’ll review an inventory of everything you have and everyone you love, and together look at what would happen to your possessions and loved ones when something does happen. Then, I’ll help you develop a plan that works exactly as you want it – at your budget and with your vision – to make sure your loved ones are taken care of when you can’t be there.

Most importantly, any document created using an online tool will lack the knowledge, guidance, and personal counseling of a trusted expert who knows your situation and cares about your plan’s effectiveness.

That’s why I don’t just create documents – I guide you and your family through every step of the process, now and at the time of your passing. I even help all of my clients pass on something more valuable than their money – their values, stories, and wisdom – through a Family Legacy Interview.

To get clarity on what you and the people you love truly need, click this link so you can take the first step toward your Family Wealth Planning Session™ today.